Apparently, gutter language is In, and good taste is Out.
And on smashwords, non-fiction is ruling the day.
Amazon Self-Published Bestsellers for the Week of May 21, 2014
1. Taint by S.L. Jennings: “If you enrolled yourself in this program then you are wholly aware that you’re a lousy lay. Good for you. Admitting it is half the battle. For those of you that have been sent here by your husband or significant other, dry your tears and get over it. You’ve been given a gift, ladies. The gift of mind-blowing, wall-climbing, multiple-orgasm-inducing sex. You have the opportunity to f*ck like a porn star. And I guarantee, you will when I’m done with you.”
2. Reasonable Doubt by Whitney Garcia Williams: “She lied to me…She betrayed the one rule that I’m most adamant about: Honesty. Complete and utter fucking honesty. I really wish she was someone else—someone who didn’t have the ability to make me feel, someone I could easily discard like the hundreds of women before her. She isn’t.”
3. The Wedding Contract by H.M. Ward: “After I get the witch at the front desk to hand me my room key, I head for the shower. I was supposed to shoot my best friend’s wedding alone, and I couldn’t wait to escape New York and Nick Ferro. Yeah, he’s beautiful, sexy, and completely charming, but he’s stealing my clients. He’s done so much damage that I’m going to be lucky if I can keep my studio open for a couple of weeks. This wedding means everything to me, and I refuse to let a spoiled brat with a shiny new MBA put me out of business. Screw that.”
4. Mid Life Love by Whitney Gracia Williams: “If you’d asked me what love was two years ago, I probably would’ve said, ‘It’s this amazing feeling that obsesses and possesses you; it’s what me and my husband currently have.’ If you ask me that same question today, I’ll say, ‘Please get the hell out of my face.’ Claire Gracen’s life is picture perfect. Her career as a marketing director is on the brink of being legendary, and her marriage to her high school sweetheart has never been stronger. No, wait. It has. It used to be amazing and fulfilling, but one day Claire realizes that she’s been living a lie and her best friend and husband have committed the ultimate betrayal.”
5. Plummet by Michael Zarocostas: “Micah Grayson is an eager rookie fresh out of law school. Raphael Bianco is a degenerate senior associate who’s never met a temptation he could resist. Gabe Weiss is a millionaire senior partner who has a dream life. All three are litigators at Sullivan & Adler, the most powerful law firm in Manhattan. Two of them share a lover. One of them will kill in cold blood. But who is his victim? A dark why-dun-it set in the backstabbing conference rooms of corporate law.”
6. The Atlantis World by A.G. Riddle: “Northern Morocco: Dr. Kate Warner cured a global pandemic, and she thought she could cure herself. She was wrong. And she was wrong about the scope of the Atlantis conspiracy. Humanity faces a new threat, an enemy beyond imagination. With her own time running out and the utter collapse of human civilization looming, a new hope arrives: a signal from a potential ally.”
7. Hotel Paradise by Carol Drinkwater: “Genevieve Bowles is an award-winning songwriter who visits the south of France to attend the Cannes film festival. The day after the renowned festival’s closing ceremony, Genevieve is invited to visit the newly-refurbished Hotel Paradise. Genevieve knows the hotel well – in fact, her past life there has haunted her for over a decade…”
8. Bender (The Core Four) by Stacy Borel: “All Keegan wanted was a roommate who was quiet, minded their own business, and paid for part of the rent. Instead, she got Camden Brooks. Camden, with his sinful body, sharp tongue, and the inability to stay out of Keegan’s personal space, couldn’t seem to curb his interest in the new girl who wouldn’t put up with his domineering ways.”
9. The Fixed Trilogy by Laurelin Paige: “All three books of the NY Times Bestselling Fixed Trilogy are included in this bundle.”
10. Dragon’s Lair by Chantal Fernando: “When I found my boyfriend cheating on me, I did something stupid. Or should I say, someone? Because of that mistake, I’m now stuck in a world I don’t belong in. I’m a law student. They’re criminals. He’s the Vice President of a MC. I’m a good girl with a strict upbringing. He’s my ex-boyfriend’s brother. And I’m screwed.”
Smashwords Self-Published Bestsellers for the Week of May 21, 2014