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Saturday, March 23, 2013

GPS

There has to be a reason we call our NavMan "Emily"...


I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are
I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife
It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"
It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake
It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene
It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice
It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off.

With thanks to Judith Smith.
Cartoon from Arthur'sFreeClipArt

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

And it can be a bad idea to be too reliant on your GPS.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/travel/travel-troubles/6586324/The-direct-route-to-Stradbroke-Island

The Japanese tourists' GPS forgot to tell them to take the ferry!

Rick Spilman said...

We have named ours Samantha. She is actually Samantha II, the replacement for four first GPS. Samantha II is a bit of a disappointment. Her voice is not as naturals as the first Samantha and the courses she lays out can be downright screwy sometimes.

I find that these days I often use my Android phone which has a built in GPS and leave Samantha sitting at home. Naming the GPS felt perfectly natural yet, I have never named my phone.

Joan Druett said...

In NYC our son found that the GPS on his phone was a very good way of keeping the cabbie honest. Samantha II might not have done a good job of that!

Shayne Parkinson said...

Like Rick, we use the one that's on our Android phones. She's very good at finding the right routes, but I do get a bit twitchy at the way her voice always seems to take on an accusing tone if we dare turn off the prescribed route for a coffee break or comfort stop. I don't know how a disembodied voice manages to convey pursed lips so effectively.