Creative puns

A testament to the flexibility of the English language...


The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian

Though she was only a whisky maker, he loved her still.

A rubber band projectile was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in 'Linoleum Blownapart.'

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like an apple.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me!

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

With thanks to Jacqueline Church Simonds.