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Sunday, May 22, 2011


Folks, that Rapture thing didn't happen

I am happy to announce that it is 8:33 am in New Zealand on May 22, 2011, and the world is functioning just the  way it always did: sporadically.

The sad side of this kind of ignorant silliness is that it helps the rest of the world to grossly underestimate America.

The light side is that it also illustrates that Americans can have an impish sense of humor.  One good example is someone in Brooklyn, NY, who runs a blog featuring prose, poetry and so forth that appeals to the blogger.  Over the past couple of days an amusing page was a set of FAQs concerning the Rapture, on the topic of handing in assignments.


Q. If my computer crashes and my printer breaks and there is no email on account of the rapture, will I be able to get an extension on my paper?

A. Everyone in tech & IT is of Satan's party, so the internet, your computer, and your printer should continued to work the way they always have: sporadically.


Rick Spilman said...

I was very sorry that one proposed response to the Rapture never happened.

The idea was for people to buy cheap latex sex dolls, inflate them with helium and to send them aloft at the appointed hour. I can only imagine what it would have looked like if the idea caught on - thousands of naked human forms floating skyward to be with Jesus.

Then again, it was probably better that it never happened. Dozens of lighter than sir sex dolls drifting into airport traffic patters could have caused havoc and possibly tragedy.

Joan Druett said...

That reminds me of a story (perhaps apocryphal) of a Californian man who was driving his open sports car along a freeway, when to his horror his wife, beside him, began taking off her clothes. She screamed, "The Rapture has arrived!" Obviously, she was all set to join it. When he looked ahead again he saw what she had seen -- all these human forms floating into the air. The doors of a van carrying inflatable dolls had jerked open, releasing the contents.

Question: Why were they inflated already? Sigh. I suppose it's another lovely urban legend ...