The Wrong Way to Find a Literary Agent

Yesterday, I received a very polite query from an interested reader who described himself as "a struggling writer."  After saying very nice things about the research and writing of In the Wake of Madness, he confided that he had written a book, but now didn't know what to do with the manuscript.  How could he find a publisher?  Did I have any tips?  Should he get an agent?  If so, how would he go about finding one?

Because I have fielded this question (these questions?) so many times before, I wrote back offering to put my answer on this blog, keeping his identity anonymous, and he was happy about that. And yes, one does definitely need an agent.  So here goes:
 
THE WRONG WAY TO FIND A LITERARY AGENT.
 
That was me, when I first set out.  I had a manuscript of a whaling novel, and some kind of publishing history in both New Zealand and the USA, but no idea how to market the project.  So I asked a friend who happened to have a good friend in the London publishing scene, and gratefully accepted his offer to carry the ms along on his next trip north.  Friend of friend's reader loved the book (bless her), so I was told I needed an agent. And guess what, I was handed on to yet another friend.   She, too, loved the book.  So I had a very pleasant agent, who just happened to be a friend of a friend of a friend.  (Muddled, yet?)  She -- guess what --passed it on to a NY friend who agented it.  So I had a NY co-agent who was a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend.  Both sold the book, then the NY agent (who, incidentally, had sold it to yet another friend) closed her business.  Impasse.  We had run out of friends of friends of friends of friends.  Then husband and I moved to New York.  Agent and I were in different countries and different markets.  It wasn't ever going to work.  So we shook hands with big smiles and parted ways.
 
Meantime, though, I had learned something.
 
THE RIGHT WAY TO FIND A LITERARY AGENT.
 
Nowadays, there an extraordinary abundance of tips about this on the internet.  An idle google search brought up "Seven Tips for Finding a Reputable Literary Agent," by Steve Thompson; "Five ways to find a literary agent," by Cressida Downing; and "How to find a Literary Agent -- And Avoid Scams," by Dee Power; plus a number of books on amazon.com.  All of it seems interesting and useful. 
 
That was not available, back then, so I visited a bookstore.  There were two major books available, Literary Marketplace and Writer's Guide to Book Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents.  I strongly recommend both.   I bought the one with the longer title, written by Jeff Herman, because it was cheaper.  Then I went through the directory of literary agents marking up the ones that seemed to like the kind of book I was writing at the time.  Then I wrote a short, succinct, beautifully composed, and laboriously polished query letter to them all, following Jeff Herman's tips for writing a query letter to a publisher.
 
TO BE CONTINUED.

AMAZON AND THE INDISCREET HISTORIAN

There have been some strange goings-on in the academic book world. Professor Orlando Figes, a historian at Birkbeck College (London) has been caught putting derogatory and dismissive reviews of other historians' books on the Amazon web-site.  As a whole range of British papers have breathlessly revealed,  he rubbished books by Dr Rachel Polonsky, Kate Summerscale and Robert Service under the nickname "Historian."

Dr Polonsky, a Cambridge-based academic, noticed a review of her acclaimed study Molotov's Magic Lantern, condemning it as "dense," "pretentious," and "the sort of book that makes you wonder why it was ever published."  Suspicions loomed, based on the fact that she had written a highly critical review of Figes's book Natasha's Dance, back in 2002.  Was the other academic the grudge-bearing type?  Was he wreaking revenge?

A check of customer reviews of Figes's 2008 book, The Whisperer, confirmed this -- "Historian" called it both "beautiful" and "necessary."   So she contacted Prof. Service, whose book on the history of communism was described as "awful" by "Historian."  Coming to the same dire conclusion, Prof. Service fired off a bunch of emails to eminent academics, with the result that the Truth Came Out.  And amazon removed all the Soviet-style reviews.

Figes tried to say that his wife (a Cambridge academic and lawyer) had posted the bad reviews. Now he has finally admitted that it was not his wife  but he that Dunnit. In the old murder mystery days, the vice-chancellor would summon the offender, leave a rope or bottle of hemlock or loaded revolver on his desk and depart after saying: "Do the decent thing, old chap."  Being much less pragmatic and dramatic, the poor misguided fellow has gone on sick leave, after apologizing to everyone in sight. 

Wiki Coffin Kidnapped

I might have had my head down with the last lap of my biography, Tupaia, Captain Cook's Polynesian Navigator, but it was a welcome tap on the shoulder from reality when I found that the latest Wiki Coffin short story, "Kidnapped," is featured on the cover of the June issue of Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine.

It first came to my notice when Doug Faunt posted a message to the maritime history discussion list @ Queens University in Canada, announcing that he had glimpsed the jacket when turning out some boxes in a bookstore. Then fellow blogger KiwiCrime posted the great news on his site.

All very nice indeed. Even the editor of the magazine, Linda Landrigan, got in touch with a lovely message about how she loves the Wiki Coffin stories. Then my own copy arrived.

"Kidnapped" is one of my favorite Wiki Coffin stories. He finally makes it home to the Bay of Islands, and jumps from the whaleship that carried him there -- but is hardly reunited with his folks when he is kidnapped onto a humble potato-freighting brig, bound for Jackson Harbour. Who nabbed him, and why? That's one mystery. In Sydney the captain is subpoena-ed onto the jury for a murder trial, and Wiki sets his mind to finding the real killer.

Agatha Christie still reigns

Agatha Christie may have passed away in 1976, but she is still the genre queen.

Tim Masters reports that a Christie short story that most people will have never heard of, let alone read, is being reintroduced to an ever-loyal public as a play.

"Philomel Cottage," published in 1924, is taking on new life. An adaptation, written by Louise Page and called "Love from a Stranger," is playing at the Mill at Sonning theatre in Oxfordshire.

The cast includes ex-Coro Street actress Chloe Newsome, David Michaels, Dido Miles, Peter Moreton and Struan Rodger.

The story is intriguing. A spinster is wooed and won by a mysterious stranger. After the wedding, they take up residence in Philomel Cottage, and strange events unwind as they find out dark secrets about each other.

It might sound old hat, but Agatha Christie could always be depended upon to produce a big surprise.

Down here in New Zealand, we undoubtedly have to wait for the TV version. I look forward to it.

The Travels of a Cello Bow

DAVID FINCKEL ACQUIRES VALENTIN BERLINSKY'S CELLO BOW

How is that for the first headline after weeks of getting back together after my computer fried (lovely present from Santa)? However, it is the most fascinating story.

Berlinsky, who passed away in 2007, was the founding member of the Borodin Quartet.

He played - with this bow - at the funerals of both Stalin and Prokofiev, performed all the Shostakovich Quartets for the composer in private, and gave the first performance of the Shostakovich cycle in America. Therefore, the bow he played with is a very special instrument.

Extraordinarily, it came with its own passport. Apparently a passport is essential for musical instruments traveling in and out of Russia.

So what happened to Berlinsky's cello?

He didn't have one. In Russia, musical instruments belong to the state.

Read this charming story in the newsletter of the Chamber Music Society of the Lincoln Center

Christmas scoop for Cambridge University Library

After a drive to raise 1.25 million pounds, Cambridge University Library has taken delivery of the Siegried Sassoon papers.

A while ago, there was a short discussion about books that changed one's life. I didn't think of poetry at the time, but reading Sassoon poetry in class certainly changed my ideas about war -- for good, and for ever. Aimed at adults, it stirred the soul of a nine-year-old.

Anyway, according to a BBC report, the university library scooped the archive by raising all that money, helped by a grant worth just over a half million from the National Heritage Memorial Fund. Other donors were the Monument Trust, the JP Getty Jr Trust, and Sir Siegmund Warburg's Voluntary Settlement.

Sassoon was an undergrad. at Cambridge, and became an honorary fellow of Clare College. Author Sebastian Faulks, whose novel Birdsong is set in the battlefields of WW1, said, "This is a major coup for Cambridge University Library, and the papers will be of huge benefit to scholars both of literature and of history."

Poet wins short story award

Again, the big names are edged out.

Poet Kate Clanchy (44, pictured) has won the 2009 BBC National Short Story Award with only her second attempt at a short story, earning herself fifteen thousand pounds.

Others shortlisted were past Orange Prize winners Lionel Shriver and Naomi Alderman and Bafta-nominated writer Jane Rogers.

The chair of judges, Tom Sutcliffe, said that Kate Clanchy's story was the unanimous choice.

Named The Not-Dead and The Saved, it is a story about parental love and sacrifice set in a hospital ward,

"We were all impressed by its acute control of emotional tone and by the vividness and generosity of the writing," said Sutcliffe.

More than 600 entries were received for the 2009 award, which is open to authors who have a publication history and are residents of the United Kingdom.

First novel wins John Llewellyn Rhys book prize

Evie Wyld, 29, has edged out big names Aravind Adiga and Chimamanda Ngozi to win the prestigious award.

Her novel, After the Fire, a Still Small Voice, is set in eastern Australia, and tells the story of the convoluted relationship between a father and his son through a series of wars.

Louise Doughty, the chair of the judges, said this novel is truly remarkable, capturing "the inflections of male speech and male bonding in a way that feels both acute and realistic."

Click here for the shortlist, and the BBC report.

You don't actually have to be a Booker winner to write bad sex, but it helps

Following the announcement of the winner of the 17th annual Bad Sex in Fiction Award, Tom Geoghegan asks in the BBC News Magazine whether sex in books really does have to be so bad - and whether it helps to be an acclaimed literary novelist.


Singer turned author Nick Cave, Booker winner John Banville and novelist Philip Roth were all shortlisted for this year's award, which was won by Jonathan Littell (pictured, looking wry), for his novel The Kindly Ones.

Littell's book, originally published in French (what else?), won the Prix Goncourt in 2006. It has also sold over a million copies - but not, apparently, for the glowing, inspirational sex scenes.

Judges at the Literary Review gave Littell the prize for a passage that begins, "This sex was watching at me, spying on me, like a Gorgon's head." (Was something lost in translation, perhaps?) He also describes an energetic act as "a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg."

The Literary Review hopes that the author will take the dishonor in "good humor." Who can tell? The award has been accepted by his agent, but Littell is yet to comment.

The magazine story, which explores the reasons why writers write about sex so badly, includes lots of quotes. The one I like the best, however, is a comment from a reader, Edward James, of Southport, who says:

"Thank you for thrusting the rapier of enquiry into the delicate flower of this subject."

Instore chaos as Borders UK files for bankruptcy

Borders UK filed for "administration" (the UK equivalent of bankruptcy) last week, with the firm MCR overseeing the process after another company, BDO, pulled out at the last minute citing an unspecified conflict. Stores started offering discounts to help sell off existing merchandise -- but if you think you scent a bargain, think again.

The Bookseller's anonymous blogger "Borders Insider" has posted an amazing account of lack of leadership, lack of communication, orders issued that are almost instantly countermanded, and banners advertizing competing discounts for the same book. The receivers, MCR, might be hot with the accounts ledgers, but booksellers, they ain't. Their ploy seems to be to send out POS (point of sale) banners, and then wait to see what happens. "'Up to 50% off everything' signs go up everywhere (confusingly alongside the 20% ones," writes the blogger. Then, according to him or her, "things get seriously weird. Having removed all other offers many books are now more expensive than they were but this fact seems lost on customers."

Or perhaps not. Over the first weekend, as the shop is "quickly devastated" by bargain-hunters, the penny drops for some. But who gets accused of being "money-grabbers"? Not Borders administration (which has gone deathly silent), or the resident MCR rep., who is bereft of useful information. No, it is the poor guy or gal behind the counter who cops the blame. "Booksellers are reduced to tears. Many are angry and there is much gritting of teeth but no one is rude or abusive."

Click the Bookseller site for this eye-opening post.